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Sex married to a sex addict

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Pornography and sexual addiction are serious issues that often begin long before the wedding day and in many cases the courtship period.

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While the reasons people become addicted to porn can be complicated, the results are shockingly simple: No one goes into marriage with the idea of hurting the other person; however, sometimes circumstances arise that we never intended. You may have either feeling, or both, but the effect is usually the same: No matter how hard it is, now is not the time to shut people out of your life. You deserve, and will benefit from, help on the road to recovery.

A therapist, close friend, support group, or spiritual leader are just a few of the great resources you can turn to as you begin the healing process.

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This fallacy is a normal emotional response, and one that can be remedied in part by educating yourself about addictions. The answer to those questions: The more you can learn about addiction—how your spouse has become trapped, how it alters their brain functions, and how they will need help to heal—the more peace you will find.

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This is one of the hardest traumas to endure because it shatters your internal world, and leaves you questioning who you can trust. You may experience some of the following reactions while in the fear cycle: This is also a good time to create your own recovery plan and move forward in practicing self-care.

For those who are struggling with addiction, we recommend creating a Plan of Recovery. This Sex married to a sex addict equally important for spouses to help them set goals and work through their own healing.

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Take time to set your boundaries, practice positive self-talk, write in a journal, pick up a hobby or learn a new skill; whatever brings you joy and allows you to take some time for yourself. This means putting yourself first—at least for a few minutes each day. As you move through the healing process, remember to be compassionate with yourself.

You are dealing with your own emotions and sense of betrayal, and need time to heal. Sexual addiction counseling is important, even for those struggling to cope with the pornography and sexual addiction of a loved one.

During this time, spouses of addicts are dealing with their own emotions of denial, hurt, anger, and guilt.

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While working through this difficult time, there are two important factors to keep in mind: Take steps today to find help and move forward in your own recovery. This can be particularly hard for women, who tend to have a difficult time putting themselves first.

However taking even five minutes daily to focus on yourself can do a lot to boost your recovery.

You cannot serve from an empty vessel. During this difficult time, you may find your thoughts turning Sex married to a sex addict and filling with self-blame. This can be devastating to your own recovery and further destroy your sense of self-worth. Replace those spontaneous negative thoughts with positive self-talk and compassion towards yourself. Try, for instance, coming up with some personal affirmations and practicing them, both each morning when you get up, and each night before you go to sleep.

It is also recommended you practice your affirmations in front of a mirror. Louise Hay has a lot of wonderful affirmations you can use to help you in your healing.

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To get you started, here are a few example affirmations: Setting boundaries is an important skill to have for building well-rounded relationships and knowing yourself better. Instead, this is an opportunity to explain clearly what actions they take that cause you pain, and what steps you will take to protect yourself if problematic behavior continues.

Create a list of things that make you uncomfortable or stressed in all areas of your life—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Then, for each action, determine an appropriate reaction that can help you protect yourself.

Then communicate this list clearly to your spouse, and follow through. It may be hard, but stand by your boundaries, and take action when one of them is violated.

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Showing respect to yourself this way will clearly teach them your expectations. Take some time each week or month to go out and volunteer at your local library, shelter, or community center.

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Or, just lend a hand Sex married to a sex addict a neighbor in need. Getting outside yourself will help put your problems in perspective, and the joy of helping others will be a welcome respite from your turmoil. Throughout your healing, communication between you and your spouse is essential. Try to hold back your anger or resentment, be genuinely understanding, and require the same of your spouse. This will take time, but try to be as supportive of your spouse as you can.

Remember that they are also healing from pornography and sexual addiction.


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