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Excited juvenile dudes nail each other in the wazoo

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In the cult classic "Harold and Maude," Ruth Gordon plays a wacky year-old who teaches a depressed man of 20 or so, played by Bud Cort, to value life. In the process he falls in love with her. Betty Dodson, 72, and Eric Wilkinson, 25, are not Harold and Maude, but their age difference invites comparisons. When they became an item three years ago, friends teased them about the movie -- which appeared several years before Wilkinson was born.

Harold and Maude were just friends. We've spent entire days in bed together. When men have girlfriends or marry much younger women, no one bats an eye.

But the other way around is a big deal. What we have here is a sexual double standard. The teasing stopped pretty quickly when our friends and families accepted our relationship. In our social circle, things feel comfortable now. Dodson and Wilkinson live together in her apartment on Manhattan's East Side.

They also work together: Dodson has produced several sex education videos and sex toys.

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Wilkinson handles the business end, tracking their sales and working with the webmaster to keep Dodson's Web site current. Their relationship is not like most, but some of the lessons they've learned together would intrigue any couple.

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When Dodson first announced that she'd spent a weekend having fabulous sex with the man she affectionately calls her "young pup," her friends were less incredulous about their age difference than they were about the fact that Wilkinson was male. Dodson hadn't had sex with a man for 10 years.

Dodson is not your ordinary senior citizen. She has a Ph. For the first time in many years, the godmother of masturbation was doing it consistently with a man. Next fall, the author of "Sex for One" releases "Orgasms for Two," which, she says, she "would not have written without Eric.

I'd never write a sex book about something I wasn't currently doing. Some matches are made in heaven. Dodson and Wilkinson's was made in bed.

Then the work side got busier -- 'Orgasms for Two' was a big job, and running Betty's business took time and energy. Like any couple, more work has meant less time for sex. But we still have great sex regularly, and still enjoy each other a great deal. Dodson says that other factors have contributed to their recent sexual moderation: I still love sex, but I can't fuck around the clock like I used to.

Sexual frequency isn't the issue. It's sexual quality, and after three years, that's still great.

Sometimes we have quickies. Sometimes we spend all morning in bed sharing orgasms. Sometimes we don't fuck for a while.

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It depends on what's happening. Of course, we also masturbate. I walked into the living room the other day, and Eric was beating off to some porn.

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And I keep a vibrator within easy reach. Dodson wasn't born a sex goddess.

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She is from Kansas, and in the s she worked as a commercial artist, drawing fashion ads for Wichita department stores. In she moved to New York to attend art school, where she continued working as a commercial artist and painted on weekends.

Inshe married an advertising executive but was not orgasmic with him. They divorced in but remained friends. After her divorce, Dodson discovered orgasmic partner sex, bisexuality and nonmonogamous relationships with Grant Taylor, who is currently her webmaster.

She soon began producing erotic art and had several Excited juvenile dudes nail each other in the wazoo, which led her into New York's cultural underground and something she never expected to experience or enjoy -- group sex parties. But in hindsight, I was also exploring sexuality, preparing for my life's work as a sex educator.

Dodson made her first splash as a sex educator in at the National Organization for Women's first conference devoted to sex. Before an audience of more than 1, women Dodson, then 43, presented a slide show entitled "Creating an Esthetic for the Female Genitals.

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She clicked the first slide, a close-up of the well-groomed vulva of one of the 15 friends who'd posed naked, legs spread, genitals wide open for her. But I'm here to show the world how beautiful they are. The audience was shocked. Some booed when Dodson used the word "cunt. As the slide show progressed, the heckling died down. At the end of Dodson's performance, the audience gave her a standing ovation. That presentation certified Dodson as a sex educator to be reckoned with.

She made more heads turn the next day with a workshop called "Electric Vibrators for Masturbation. How we make love to ourselves determines what we bring to partner sex. Dodson also continued to have an extraordinary sex life.

After the group sex parties of the '60s and '70s, she spent the '80s bisexual but mostly lesbian. In the '90s, she returned briefly to heterosexuality but eventually decided to go solo. They had relationship baggage and health problems.

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They were not into -- and usually not capable of -- extended sex. And they wanted to dominate the relationship, always wanted to have things their way. Wilkinson grew up in Virginia, the only child of a businessman father and homemaker mother. At 14, he became interested in sex. He read self-help books and masturbated over the few girlie magazines that came his way. I struggled over that for a few years, but by 17 I was sick of feeling guilty.

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